


Finding Life

by SolaraNi



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Mental Illness, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-01-02 22:24:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21168848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolaraNi/pseuds/SolaraNi
Summary: Growing up under White Diamond has been stressful for all the other Diamonds.  However, White's fascination with the youngest, Pink, seemed almost excessive to Yellow and Blue Diamond.  Everything turns on its head when Pink is caught leading the rebellion on earth, making White Diamond extremely displeased with her.  When all is said and done, Blue is unable to suffer the thought of letting what has been going on continue any further.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Small Disclaimer: There is one plot point in this story I borrowed from 'Fractures' by SpaceDimentio. However, you do not need to read that story to read mine, for this is a stand alone work. You should totes read Fractures though, its really good!!

Prologue: No Longer Safe

Blue Diamond walked along the corridor quietly, followed only by her pearl and another gem. Looking around each corner, and after making sure the coast was clear, she would then beckon the other gem to follow. Finally, she seemed to reach her destination in front of a large, ominous door. Taking a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves and find resolution, she opened the door.

Inside was relatively dark, only barely lightened by a small, high out of reach window, and now the opened door. Inside laid a sight Blue had been avoiding for years. Both because of White Diamonds orders and her own self doubt.

But today there would be no more doubt in her choice. Not after the decision that had been made at the last meeting with White Diamond.

The meeting had been going as usual. Discussing new colonies, how they might improve the startling decline of gem production, other issues that needed to be discussed. However, before the elephant in the room got any larger Yellow had been the one to address it. Courageous Yellow and her work ethic. 

Yellow had asked about Pink. Asked if her punishment had gone on long enough. White had been very displeased with her, stating she had been very clear in her instructions, that if Pink refused to act like a Diamond, she would sit and think on it until she started acting like one. All stated in that matter-of-fact tone White Diamond always seemed to don. 

However, that was not the end of the story as it had been in previous meetings where one of them had brought up Pink. White Diamond seemed to then think upon the situation a little further, then had stated in that horrible tone of false-love, “It has been quite a while hasn’t it? Maybe something should be done further to remedy the situation faster. After all, Pink’s subjects have been waiting far too long for the return of their Diamond.”

With that she had ended the meeting stating she had things she had to attend to.

That decision had left an ominous impression upon her mind. 

Before she had left she had watched indecision dance its way across Yellow’s face before hardening into its usual indifference. Blue knew Yellow could no longer be swayed from there. Blue, however, knew she had to do something to change this.

It had been several days later when screams and pleas could be heard ringing across the palace, all laced in a tone Blue had never wanted to hear again from her beloved sister. Blue had frozen where she was in the halls until silence finally decided to bless her ears. 

That had been when she rushed to the place she had hid her most prized gem. A gem that, if White Diamond found out about its existence, could potentially spell doom for the rest of the cosmos. She had hidden the gem in her room, safely kept in its gem form, bubbled, until now as she beckoned it to form. When it was formed it was about the size of a short pearl with long, blackish-blue bangs that covered its eyes. Its hair tied back into a neat bun. Her blueish-black skin, slightly lighter than its hair, was framed in a long, flowing dress with peasant sleeves. 

“My Diamond, how may I serve you.” It had said in a quiet whisper.

“Meteorite, it is time to be of service to your Diamond. Come, follow me and attempt to remain out of sight.” Blue had had this discussion with Meteorite as soon as she had emerged and been reported to her. She was to remain a secret to other gems. 

Back in the present, she took a step into the room where her almost catatonic sister lay. Her poor sister. Her sister who deserved nothing White Diamond inflicted upon her. Her sister that, for her few trivial flaws and poor choices, had been deemed imperfect by their matriarch and sentenced to punishment until she decided to act her purpose within society. Her wonderful sister that had never given up trying to change how they thought, but now suffered the grim consequences of her actions, and Blue could tell it had irrevocably changed her sister. 

Knowing the very nature of her sister, Blue Diamond knew what White Diamond wanted of her sister would never be able to come to pass.

Thus her choice came into resolution.

“Pink”.

No response. Not even a glance in her direction. Only the lifeless stare that lost itself in the featureless floor below her.

“Pink. I understand you must be angry with us. That you wish, beyond what I could imagine, that things could have gone a different way. I understand that Pink. I also understand that if you remain here that you will be lost forever. What White Diamond will do once her patience has run out.”

She glanced over to Pink Diamond, who remained still. However, Blue Diamond could tell her last sentence had finally gained her ears.

“Because of that, I have come to a decision. One you may not completely agree with, but one that must be decided regardless. I’m going to help you escape Pink.” 

The faintest of movements could be seen around Pink’s lips. However, before any sounds could be made, her upper teeth bit her lower lip as she took a rattling breath, then looked up at her sister.

Blue felt a fierce pain penetrate her heart at the sight of Pink’s face. She understood almost immediately what White’s decision must have been in painful clarity. The cracks that streaked across the left side of her face. The trace amounts of grey that stood out amongst the rest of her pink complexion. The dull grey eye that now blighted her once beautiful face. She could feel the faint hatred that quickly filled Pink’s eyes. Yelling just as loudly that if she was so sorry, why hadn’t she come sooner? Before she had to suffer from this fate. Why she stood back while she had to suffer through all of White’s torments. However, it passed just as quickly, leaving behind the blank doll Blue had become all too familiar with. 

Recollecting her resolve, she gestured to the gem she had brought with her. “This is my Meteorite. Due to the nature of her purpose, I have kept her hidden from all our sisters. She was born with the capacity to twist space in certain ways. In short, she can bring things from other dimensions as well as return them back.”

“Pink, while it is no longer safe for you to remain here, there are many other dimensions where you could be treated better. Where you could change the outcome of things that should have never come to pass. You could be given a second chance to be the type of gem you’ve always wanted to be.”

Reaching out gingerly for her sister, and repressing the sob that wanted to break loose from the resulting flinch, she gently took her sisters hands loosely into her own. 

Finally Pink looked up again. Those eyes expressing the deep pain Pink had been left to wallow in stared confused into her sister's eyes.

“While you cannot remain here, there are chances for you to start a new life with another set of us that could treat you with the respect and love you deserve. That won’t point out your flaws with every step, won’t try to change the nature of who you are. Even a White Diamond who wants nothing but to adore you.”

With that, she let go of Pink’s hands while Pink stared up at her confused, but her one functioning eye slowly widening as she started to understand what was going to happen. 

“When you arrive at the other dimension, you will be transported to the same place you are now. However, Homeworlds sensors will pick up on your presence almost immediately. Due to where you are, Yellow will probably be the first to find you, if not, someone of high status in her court, surely. Knowing that, you will probably struggle to communicate seeing as…” Blue paused, before pulling out a blue parchment from her cloak, “ I want you to give this letter to my counterpart. Hand it to Yellow if you must. It says all my counterpart will need to know as to why you are there and confirm who you are.”

Pink Diamond stared longingly at her, and Blue gently brought Pink into a hug. “No matter what Pink, know that while you had no chance here, the Diamonds from there have to capacity to love you. That you can be loved and loved for who you are.”

Standing back up she commanded her Meteorite while Pink’s arms reached forward as if to grab back onto Blue, “Meteorite. You may now begin.”

The Meteorite bowed before slowly drawing her arms around her gem that had started to glow. Her power starting to race around Pink Diamond and causing her form to glow as well.

Looking back to Pink, Blue could no longer hold her tears, “Despite all that has happened, I love you Pink.” 

Pinks mouth started to open, “Blue, I-”

.  
..  
…

And with that, she was gone.


	2. A New Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pink Diamond finds herself in a place similar but confusingly different at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I was going to wait till Wednesday to post this but I couldn't hold it in anymore. So here ya go.

Ch 1: A New Place

“Blue, I-”

Her voice died in her throat.

There had been a bright flash of light, lighter than she had seen in a long time. That's all it seemed like, before she wound up in the same exact place she had always been, except her sister was no longer there. It was just as empty and dreary as it had always been. Door closed, drab, grey walls, and an even greyer floor. However, her eyes were immediately drawn to what seemed to be a decent sized window that was letting in a wonderful amount of light.

Slowly she uncurled from her position against the far wall and moved over to the center of the room where the light shone down, almost dragging herself towards it with complete desperation. As various parts of her body slipped into the luxurious light she felt a warmth spread throughout her body that she hadn’t felt in such a long time. When it reached her gem, It spread throughout her limbs and made her want to stretch her tired arms upwards, as if trying to snatch more light from the air, to feed her starving gem of its energy source that it had been denied for so long.

She felt so warm.

Everywhere but the one place she knew would be unable to feel warmth ever again because of its relative position to the hairline crack on her gem.

Despite that, she felt inklings of light worm their way back into her heart as well.

After taking the time to soak in a luxurious amount of light, replenishing herself, Pink thought back to what Blue had said, and she had said a lot of things. Pink couldn’t help but feel anxiety bubble up inside her now that her gem had the proper energy to do so. She thought about how she was no longer in the place she thought she was. How those who would find her would not be the same gems she thought they would be. How there was the chance that… It just seemed all too good to be true.

Part of her wanted to cave into her old curiosity in the face of something new. Consider what would be different from what she was used to, what events had changed, if there was a chance that…

No, she couldn’t go there. She didn’t know how long it would take for her to return if those thoughts decided to spiral around in her mind. Besides, the answer should be obvious to her. For if White Diamond existed here, then surely she would have known? Would have gone about retrieving Pink from her rebelliousness with the exact same efficiency as...

Her hand went to where the cracks lay on her face and then down to the gem where a hairline crack could be felt. Where she knew White had tried to… Because she…

Her finger tracing the crack brought a shiver down her spine.

She took her hand away with a trembling exhale, noticing then just how fast her breathing had become. How her hands were shaking and slowly starting to clench firmly around her gem. Slowly she fought them down to her lap, reminding herself of her current situation. 

Just as she had managed to bring herself out of her thoughts, the door swung open, bringing her eyes to the sudden intruders to her solitude.

“WHO DARES BREAK INTO THE SANCTITY OF-” One of the Topazes that had barged into the room suddenly froze still at the sight of the gem in the room. The other Topazes soon followed suit as if horribly confused at what was presented in front of them. The commanding Topaz, after a few short moments of doubt crossing her face, spoke with a less confident manner, “State your gem, facet and cut, or be subject to the court process of rule violation.”

Knowing the severity of the situation she found herself in, she tried again, like she had before Blue’s Meteorite had teleported her away, to make a vocalization, but nothing came out. Frustrated, she brought a hand up to her throat before looking pleadingly at the Topazes in front of her. However, the Topaz commanded without pause, “Seize her and take her to the Gem holding cell for Zircon interrogation. Let whatever unlucky Zircon is assigned to this case know Yellow Diamond will be personally overseeing this to see how the intruder could have possibly broken into this sanctum.” 

The Topaz came forward and immediately seized her arms to bring them behind her back. Then, after noticing her size, stated, “Please don’t struggle and you may see another sun cycle yet.” Then the other Topazes beckoned her to follow them and she went willingly while the previous Topaz held onto her by a chain connected to the appearified handcuffs.

The Topazes marched onwards and would have seemed a little rough if Pink didn’t already know the destination of their pursuit. Looking around, she tried to see if anything looked similar, if anything was different. Her guards were a yellow shade, most likely Yellow’s guards, the walls were much more colorful than she expected as well. With four shades of varying white, blue, yellow, and pink. There were also other colors, but not nearly as present. She also noticed the slightly noticeable behavior of her guards and that confused her.

She was used to the sight of Topazes and their behaviors. For they were the almost invisible companions to entries, exits, and various rooms around the Diamond Palace for their fierce efficiency as guards. Their job required them to act as if they were part of the room, silent and still, unless action was required. When escorting, they were silent, uniform, unless the situation asked of them otherwise. Their stations required perfection, especially within the walls of the Diamond Palace.

However, these Topazes… These Topazes movements were hardly uniform. The Topazes in the very back seemed to be quietly gossiping about their latest escort. The ones in front kept sneaking glances back towards her. 

This change scared her. How could Yellow not know about the state of her Topaz guards? If they would be the ones escorting her to court, would she once again be blamed for their errant behavior? Was she? If Yellow saw the state of them, would she again be forced to watch as...

One of the Topazes voices interrupted her thoughts as they announced their arrival at the interrogation rooms and asking her to enter. Her new surroundings helped her cement herself in the present, especially since the interrogation rooms surprised Pink. She was intrigued to find them in much better shape than she expected. Whereas she expect to to be strapped down to a chair, she was comfortably seated on a cushion once the Topazes realized she wouldn’t fit in the normal-looking chair they had present. After making sure she didn’t look ready to bolt, some of the Topaz guards went to stand outside while two remained at her side.

The silence that followed wasn’t too unexpected nor too unpleasant, especially since Pink was now used to the overpowering silence darkness brought with it, however, now that there were others to share in it, Pink felt uncomfortable, and her anxiety once again bubbled up inside her.

The silence would prove to be short as a blue zircon entered the room. Once she took a seat she kept her eyes on a stack of papers in her hands as she went to introduce herself, “Hello, I am going to be your Zircon in this case. While I normally would have given a spiel about how your going to be shattered at first glance, new systems have gone in place to give defense an actual chance.” Taking her eyes away from the papers she started again “In your case however, I-” 

Her voice died in her throat once she got a good eye at who exactly was her client.

“N-No, it can’t be. You’re dead. How are you-, TOPAZ!”

“Yes?”

“I demand a Peridot with a gem scanner immediately, GO!” The Zircon practically screeched.

“R-Right away, Zircon” The Topaz yelped as she practically ran from the room.

The silence that filled Topaz’s gap felt even more potent, however it was soon cut by Zircon starting to mumble, “It can’t be, it can’t be! But if it is-, what's going to happen? What am I going to do?! If I present this in court I’ll be shattered. By my own Diamond! If Yellow Diamond doesn’t ruin me first!” 

Pink starred on at the Zircon slowly breaking down, wishing she could offer comforting words, encouraging words, but the thought only reminded her of White’s lessons. She felt any ability to speak drain away as she struggled away from those thoughts.

Before the situation in the room could fall apart any further the Topaz returned with a Peridot holding a scanner in tow. With the entry seemingly bringing the Zircon out of whatever panic attack she was trying to stave off, she said, “Peridot. I need you too- please scan the guilty party’s gemstone. 

“Alright, don’t know why you need me to scan it in the first place. It should be pretty obvious what type of gem it is by its color, shape, and the form it takes.” Peridot said before turning around. Upon seeing the out-of-place looking gem she immediately amended, “Perhaps you do need the scanner.”

After pushing a few buttons on the scanner, she brought it up to Pink’s gem. After a few seconds of light scanning the gem in front of Peridot, the machine brought up the results:

Diamond

Peridot, on her part, remained relatively calm. “Hold on, I think I need to do another scan. Something is clearly wrong with the results.”

After tampering with it again, Peridot performed a second scan:

Diamond

“N-No, it can’t be right”

“Peridot, what is the scan saying” The Zircon asked.

However, Peridot scanned again without saying anything.

Diamond

“Again!”

Diamond

Diamond

Diamon-

“Peridot!” Zircon yelled exasperated, grabbing the scanner out of the Peridot's hands.

Diamond

The Zircon visibly deflated at the results. Handing the scanner back to Peridot, Zircon turned towards their pink client. She slowly put her quivering hands into the diamond formation and quietly stated, “I don’t know how you're here. I don’t know how you got here. I don’t even know what to believe anymore, but scanner results don’t lie... Welcome home, My Diamond.” Upon Zircon bowing the other gems in the room followed suit.

After a deep second to keep the intent of the bow sincere, Zircon raised again and said, “Topaz, take off the cuffs. If she is who she really is, we don’t want to be the ones to suffer the consequences if we bring her to court in chains like a common criminal.” Topaz quietly and gently removed to cuffs from her hands. 

Once her hands were free, she brought them forward, and after not knowing what to do with them, gently placed them tensed on her lap.

“My Diamond, I believe we have no more business here. Whatever explanations you could give me will have to be repeated in front of Yellow Diamond anyways. However, once I update her Pearl on the situation I believe Blue Diamond will wish to attend as well. If I may be so pertinent to ask a question, and you be so willing to answer it, why now? Why return now?” Zircon asked as if it had been a question she had wanted the answer to her entire life.

Pink only wished she could verbally answer the question, except her voice remained locked in her throat. However, she withdrew Blue’s note from her gem and gently unfolded only part of it in her shaking hands. From the part she unfolded, only a single line could be read,

She is not your Pink. She is the Pink from my dimension. However, due to situations out of-

Zircon stepped back from the letter, the lack of being able to register the words relevant on her face. However, instead of inquiring further, she turned to the Topazes, “I’ll be taking my leave now. Take Pink Diamond to the waiting room. Trial will be held as soon as possible.”


	3. Ch. 2: The Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trial is held and Yellow Diamond is rightfully skeptical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait a little longer than intended. I've been busy with College (As well as having to attend to my other creative adventures), and while the chapter was technically complete, I wasn't completely happy with it. I feel a little better about it now.

Ch.2: The Trial

Pink stood waiting with two of the Topaz guards in the waiting room. However, unlike their previous conduct in the halls, they were as rigid and still as their gemstones were meant to be. Unlike them however, Pink’s hands fidgeted as she kept tossing between holding them together and wringing them. 

She thought about what it would be like to see Blue and Yellow. How different would they be. Would Blue be similar to hers? While strict and merciless in her court, she always had a soft spot for Pink. Would always try to find ways around White Diamond to cheer her up. She had often sent her pearl to her room in order to bring her company even when she didn’t want it. Would have pearl bring small gifts and carrying messages from Blue. While those small gestures had suddenly stopped, Pink convinced herself that Blue had just been busy. She really hoped this Blue Diamond was similar, even if she wouldn’t exhibit the same exact gestures. 

Yellow she was a little more worried about. Yellow had always seemed so strong, confidant, and steadfast in her ways. However, she often rewarded her gems when they performed magnificently for their empire. While she always held work above anything else, sometimes she would find the time to hang out with her. Let Pink indulge herself a little when she was feeling extra generous. However, with recent events Yellow had distanced herself from Pink. Never stopping to check in on her. Never even sending a sign that she cared.

Pink bit her lip at the thought. She wanted to love both her fellow Diamonds, but sometimes… Sometimes they had made it so hard when, in those moments, it was like they really didn’t care for her. However, White Diamond had always made it hard for all of them. They were supposed to be perfect. They couldn’t show the weaknesses they had for Pink in front of White without facing the repercussions.

With that thought she continued to wait until the same Zircon that had been with her before entered the room looking much more composed than she had been earlier.

“Are you ready, my Diamond? Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond wait” Zircon asked.

Pink simply nodded her head. There was no way she could be even more ready to face what lay in front of her.

With that Zircon walked over to a panel nearby that made the floor underneath them start to rise and an opening in the ceiling appear. 

Inch by inch the room above came into view, before the forms of Yellow and Blue Diamond became very apparent in their thrones. 

After the floor had come to a halt level with the rest of the floor, the silence that remained was tangible. Zircon looked as if she wanted to talk, but remained quiet in respect for the Diamonds in front of her.

Blue and Yellow stared at Pink Diamond with shock in their eyes. The silence finally being broken by Yellow and Blue starting to talk amongst each other.

“It can’t be” Yellow said, wary.

“How can it be” Blue responded.

“But she is gone.” 

“She looks exactly like her”

“Could it be an imposter?” 

“Most likely, but lets see what this gem has to say for herself first. Remember what Steven said about making initial judgements.” Blue had ended.

“Fine, but let's just get on with it shall we?” Yellow sighed, signaling for the Zircon to start.

“My Illustrious Diamonds, this gem was found within the old prison tower. With the form she currently has. However, this then asks the question of why she was in the tower? What was her intend on doing so there of all places? And why in the form of Pink Diamond? For, as everyone knows by now, Pink Diamond is currently residing on earth and taken the identity of ‘Steven’. Thus making any attempts to impersonate Pink Diamond as a fool's errand.” Zircon monologued.

“Yes, we’re looking at a fool, do we have to continue this?” Yellow monotoned.

“Don’t we?” Blue Diamond responded. “I want to know how this gem even managed to shapeshift into a form that large for so long.”

“Well, it's obviously not Pink Diamond, otherwise I would have recognized her aura by now!” Yellow answered back. “But this gem? Not only does it take her form, it has the audacity to have similarities to it! I say we ask that gem ourselves.”

Blue looked alarmed at the anger portrayed on Yellow’s face. The Zircon tried to keep its cool under its pressure. Pink stared up at those distrusting eyes, similar to the ones that often directed their anger at her, and couldn’t help but feel scared.

Yellow stared straight at her, “Who are you. What are you doing here and why do you look like Pink Diamond.”

To Pink’s initial silence Yellow began yelling, “ANSWER ME”.

Pink flinched back at the reprimanding tone before attempting to shakily bring her hands forward with the large blue parchment her Blue had given her.

Yellow, however, continued to snarl at her, “I didn’t ask for a piece of paper, I told you to speak.” 

Before Yellow could continue her rant, Blue Diamond held up her hand. “Wait Yellow, I think what she is holding is important.”

“How can that piece of ancient technology be important?” Yellow demanded back.

“Because I own a similar stationary due to a suggestion from Steven and I can tell you for certain no one has entered my room but me and my pearl.” Blue stated before looking to her Pearl, “Fetch the paper and read it to me.” She gently asked.

Blue Pearl curtsied before walking over to where Pink Diamond was standing. When she reached Pink she held out her hands, silently asking for the paper. Pink hesitated before holding it out in her shaking hands to the pearl. Blue Pearl than walked back to the foot of her Diamonds throne before unfolding the paper and reading:

Blue Diamond. You may be wondering why there is a copy of your sister, Pink Diamond, standing before you. However, before you worry about the possibility of her being an imposter, do not worry. For she is indeed Pink. She is just not your Pink. She is the Pink from my dimension. However, due to situations out of our control I have had to send her away, somewhere where White Diamond can no longer find her. How you may ask? That you should know, and if not, I will not say, especially since this letter has the chance of falling into other hands. If you doubt my word, well another version of yourself’s word, then proof of the danger Pink faced should be evident on her face. It should also be stated that, due to White Diamonds influence, Pink is no longer able to speak at the current time. Please, whatever you do, please make sure she is taken care of. She deserves so much better than what she has received and it is my hope that she can find it there. Please take care of her for me.  
Blue Diamond

After Blue Pearl stopped speaking, Blue spoke to Pink. “Please step forward so that I may get a better look at your face.”

Pink carefully stepped forward and Blue leaned down in her throne. Her proximity made Pink anxious as Blue Diamond finally caught sight of the ugly cracks that marred her face. The odd greyness that followed the cracks. Her dull grey eye that should have been identical to her other one, but sat still, droopy, compared to the other that vibrated with tinges of her anxiety.

Blue seemed shocked at what she saw. Yellow, intrigued asked, “What? What is it?”

Blue responded, “She bears marks from an attempted bleaching from White.” Blue responded, almost unbelieving. 

Sitting back up, looking a little shaken, she spoke, “I believe the letter. Only White has the ability to do something like that and White hasn’t done it since she bleached us back when Steven was attempting to break White from her denial.”

Yellow looked back at Pink with a pained expression on her face, and Pink started to feel very uncomfortable by their respective gazes. Usually, they would only stare at her like that if she had messed something up. If something was wrong with her.

Blue was the first to move, causing Pink to flinch back, mouthing silent apologies for whatever she had done this time to upset her fellow Diamonds. 

Noticing the shaking that had started to envelope Pink’s body, Blue slowed her movements and carefully wrapped her arms around her. This close, she could hear the silent, jagged breaths escaping from Pink's mouth.

Quickly glancing over to Yellow, Blue could see indecision flick across her face before Yellow strode over herself and enveloped the other side of Pink. However, both were gentle, as if to allow Pink to leave if she wanted. 

“Pink.” Blue gently said, trying to regain Pink’s focus. “I can tell what has happened to you where you’re from has hurt you, and we’ll have to talk soon in order to better accommodate you, but for now know that you are welcome here. No one here will hurt you intentionally. Not us and definitely not White.”

Slowly, Pink was able to calm herself down and relax in the arms of, while not her sisters, they were the closest to something she had for going so long without. She decided to relish in this embrace while it lasted. The warmth that emanated from both of them caused her to start crying breathy sobs. 

“We’re here for you Pink.” Yellow stated softly and knew for certain the tears streaming down her face weren’t from Blue even though she was crying too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone gets inspired to draw a scene to my fanfic, I am receptive to any art! Whether it be gorgeous or absolute trash. For I am writing trash, what right do I have to judge? Here is many tumblr tag for any interested: https://solara-nightshade.tumblr.com


	4. Ch 3: Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Diamond finds out. A confrontation ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, some of ya'll will be getting something you've been waiting for with this chapter. Whether thats a good thing or not I guess we will have to see.

Ch 3: Confrontation 

After they had stepped away from the hug, the trial had immediately been declared done. Blue and Yellow had then escorted Pink back to where her old room lay.

The walk had been held in awkward silence. Blue and Yellow didn’t know what to say, this Pink wouldn’t speak, but they knew they needed to get something out of her. Otherwise they wouldn’t know how to act around her.

Once entering Pink’s old room, left just the way it had been since their Pink’s passing, Yellow stated briefly, “This is our Pink’s old room. Since our Pink is no longer around, you may use it.” 

Blue could tell in Yellow’s voice she was struggling not to look at this Pink behind them and believe it was their dearly departed sister. Blue knew she was struggling as well, but the thing that kept her held back the most had been the all to prevalent cracks on this Pink’s face. It spoke of a White Diamond who had stopped caring and Blue knew their eldest sister had never stopped caring about Pink. White Diamond had never stopped caring, she just dealt with Pink’s death differently than they had. Where Blue had openly mourned, Yellow had thrown herself into her work, and White had put herself into denial. However, the biggest differences were with her entire demeanor. This Pink was all too silent where theirs had been full of life and energy. This one subdued, all too pliant to follow, seemed to curl into herself, and worst of all had seemingly lost the will to speak.

They stood around for a bit before Yellow Diamond remembered something important, “You know, once White hears of this little development, she is going to want to see Pink right away.”

Blue seemed to grimace before responding, “With the current situation, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stop her. Let alone slow her down. Pink was always her favorite and having another one around might…”

“I know what you mean.” Yellow replied with a thoughtful expression.

Pink on her part was trying very hard to stay in the present. She didn’t know if she could face White Diamond so soon after she had tried to… Yet, she ultimately knew she probably didn’t have a choice in the matter. She knew no one could really stop White Diamond if she was set to do something.

So when the question came from Blue, “Pink, will you be alright if White was to come. While I don’t know exactly how your White was, even with that letter you came with, our White is much different I can assure you! She’s a lot better after we had our reformation of Homeworld. If you give her the chance, she would love to adore you!” Pink understood she was trying to comfort her, and she really didn’t want to do this, but when had she ever had a choice in anything? Slowly she clenched her hands into fists and nodded her head shakily.

Yellow nodded her head as well, “I’ll go get her then. I will try to convince her to restrain herself.” Yellow sighed before walking away.

Blue stood in the now silent room. Looking at Pink, she didn’t know what to think. A part of her just wanted to snuggle Pink and take her worries away, but she had the feeling things wouldn’t be so simple. 

Soon enough, she could feel White’s approach as imminent before her bubble showed up right outside of Pink’s room, with Yellow right by her side.

“WHERE IS SHE” White had immediately screeched while shoving the curtains to Pink’s room aside, her eyes falling on the alternate Pink. 

Pink had frozen solid.

White quickly knelt down to get a better look at the new Pink, excited to see this new Pink Diamond. However, she frowned when she noticed Pink looking scared stiff out of her mind. 

“Starlight, whatever is the matter?”

That is when they first heard the sound of Pink’s voice. A horrible scream as tears flooded her eyes and she scrambled back to the wall and collapsed in on herself. Clutching her gem as if a terrible pain was inflicted upon it before faint pleads escaped her.

“Please, please! I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’ll never do it again! Please, please don’t-”.

Yellow ran to Blue’s side while White sat shocked and horribly confused. “I tried to stop her, but she practically came running when I told her we had found a Pink from another dimension” 

White stared at them genuinely confused, “Why is she scared of me?”

Blue knew that face to be the one that demanded answers. “Her...White didn’t treat her well.”

White seemed to reflect upon this before returning her eyes to poor Pink in front of her, who seemed to be lost in her own trance while looking straight ahead. With her head now away from her knees, White could now see what Blue had meant, and it sparked an old, angry flame in White that she hadn’t felt in countless millennia. Not even when she had first met Steven and claimed he was no longer Pink Diamond.

“Why would she. How could she do this to our lovely Pink!” White practically screamed in disgust before trying to calm Pink herself. “Starlight, dear, I won’t hurt you. I want nothing but to love you. Please control yourself.”

However, that response only seemed to bring a horrible, ugly expression of terror to Pink’s face.

“White, I know you want to help, but I think it's best that I handle this while you leave. I don’t think your presence will help right now.” Blue tried to reason with White.

“Oh, very well, but update me as soon as she has been calmed!” White demanded before leaving Pink’s room.

Upon her leaving Blue rushed to where Pink was huddled and whimpering. Instead of speaking she carefully wrapped her arms around Pink, using her sleeves as a way to block the rest of the world from Pink.

“Pink, its alright she’s gone.”

“No-no, I don’t, I-I won’t, I can’t, please don’t m-make me. Please! I- I can be good. I p-promise. I-”

“No one is going to make you do anything Pink.”

“But I- I have to do what White says or-”

“No, Pink. You don’t have to do what White says. Our White will never make you do something you don’t want to.”

“B-But I don’t want to have another lesson. O-or have to go to the black room again. P-Please I-” Pink barely whispered, voice fading away and going back to silent tears.

Blue, on the other hand, froze at those words. “Lessons? A black room.” Blue murmured then looked down at Pink in her hands. She had thought Pink looked oddly thin, smaller, perhaps a little paler, but she never imagined that it was because of…

It was really hard to hold back her anger at that thought, but she remained calm for Pink’s sake.

Yellow, who had been standing awkwardly in the corner, however, widened her eyes and clenched her fists. “Pardon me?” 

Blue thought her sister looked one step away from punching the wall into oblivion, so quickly tried to bring her down, “Not now Yellow.”

Looking down to where Pink lay cradled in her arms and noticed Pink being particularly still. Shifting her a little, she noticed Pink’s eyes closed and her one eye still having fresh tear tracks down her cheek. She had fallen asleep, most likely worn out emotionally. Blue had definitely been there. Wanting to fall into blissful nothingness if only for just awhile.

Slowly lifting Pink and having the pebbles make a nice looking bed, she laid Pink down on the cushions, knowing she preferred the squishy things for her slumber back in the day, before beckoning Yellow to follow her out.

Stepping out, she noticed White standing awkwardly just out of view of being able to be seen from the inside. 

“Is she...alright?” White asked.

“She’s fine, for now. It’s probably best to let her regain some energy faster by resting.” Blue responded.

“What is- why is this Pink so scared of me. I knew ours had issues with me. Especially not nearly on this level of warranting that type of reaction.” White diamond quietly asked.

Yellow, looking as if she wanted to punch the living daylights out of something, replied, “I know why. Because her White saw fit to control misbehavior by being extremely strict of what she allowed Pink to do. And worst of all, she apparently put her in a dark room to punish her disobedience.” Yellow nearly screamed.

“A dark-, but that would be starving her gem. I would never even consider-”

“You would never, but a White Diamond with different experiences is a completely different story.” Blue stopped White before she could lead herself down a road of self-guilt for something she didn’t do. Goodness knows, they didn’t need White to isolate herself inside her head again. Especially now that there was much work to be done throughout their entire empire.

Yellow, never being too comfortable with emotional talks, said “I have work I need to attend to. If any major developments happen please notify me.” 

With that Yellow formed a bubble around herself before transporting herself into the distance where her ship and control center lay.

“Blue?”

“Yes, White?”

“If I even think about doing something like that ever in the future, please do whatever you can to stop me.” 

“I can promise that.”


	5. Ch 4: Pink Pearl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend joins in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy howdy, did this chapter go through a lot! I rewrote this chapter 3 times before I was happy with it. Then the Promo for Steven Universe Future have to come along and make me go through and edit it again to more closely align with the shows portrayal of what we've seen of a character before. Anyways, this chapter is like 3x longer than my previous chapters. Hope you enjoy that! I'm pretty proud of this chapter myself.

Ch: 4: Pink Pearl

WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Self-Harm. 

Pink awoke with a start. She didn’t really remember what had happened last and it took a second to remind herself of where she was. What she had been doing. She remembered White coming into the room. However, everything past that point became hazy, as if trying to look through a foggy mirror. What she could remember feeling though, was the terror that had raced through her system at the sight of White Diamond. That any attempts she had tried to make to view this White as different blurred together into hazy memories.

Sighing, she looked around her room to realize she was the only one there. She looked to be laying in a comfy bed. She wondered if the Pebbles had constructed it for her.

Disappointingly, she didn’t see any trace of them. 

Since she didn’t really know what to do, nor what she was allowed to do, she simply grabbed one of the pillows before curling up against the wall beside the bed- 

...Only to feel that irritating sense of boredom start to itch at the surface of her thoughts.

All the things she used to be able to do to pass the time involved other people and now that she had no one…

Oh, but she could probably go visit Blue or Yellow. They would probably be willing to put up with her for a little while?

It was a possibility. They had been so nice before...

Then why did it seem like such a daunting task just to think of leaving her room?

She sighed again before resigning herself to the only thing she had while she had been stuck in that awful tower. Trapped and no foreseeable expectation of being let out anytime soon.

She turned to her thoughts.

She had learned that losing herself to her thoughts to pass the time had been easy once she got the hang of it. Since there was really nothing else to do when her mind was lucid enough, to hold a consistent pattern of thought, without spiraling out of control.

Lose herself to thoughts that could take her away from here. To better places. Happier places. Thinking what it would have been like if things could have been different. If, perhaps she could have held up to White Diamonds expectations. Oh, wasn’t that a nice thought? White used to love her silly little antics. She would dance and sing and play around her while White would smile and tell her what a special little starlight she was.

She used to go to Yellow where she could ask questions and Yellow would give her all the answers she could have desired. Let her watch so that she could learn to be a proper Diamond too. So that when she got her own courts and colonies she would know how to lead them and bring the empire to further glory.

Blue was always a willing participant in helping her explore her curiosities. Blue would take her down to her colonies so that she could see for herself what wonders the empire was doing. Let Pink explore and throw herself into understanding the local ecosystems of the uncompleted colonies. Indulge Pink in her wild little fantasies.

Could she have found happiness with her fellow Diamonds? Been a successful Diamond that brought beautiful changes to homeworld? Changes that made the gem empire a better place to live out existence? What could have happened if she had managed to save the earth? Whether she would be off dancing in beautiful fields of organic life or flirting with the local intelligent lifeforms. Watching as earth continuously changed in front of her. It had always been so fun exploring and trying to understand the organic life on earth. Always something new. Something exciting. Even if sometimes she became so engrossed with warring against her own gems that she had little time to continue exploring. However, her Pearl was always there beside her. Entertaining her with all of her wonderful ideas on how to make the next strike against her own court. It was always so amazing to watch her pearl go at it full of determination to defy who she was supposed to be. She had always wondered If her and her pearl would have been able to enjoy a fulfilling life together after they scared the other gems off earth. Each day filled with something new. Always something exciting. A wonderful existence past what she was supposed to be.

Maybe she could have started a completely new life, separated from her old one. One where she could live out her days the way she had always wanted, unrestricted from White’s strict rules for her conduct. Away from the life White had wanted her to live. Happy and free from the place she felt fettered too. Experience things without having to worry about how she would react.

She would never be able to now. She knew that for the rest of eternity she would be stuck as Pink Diamond. Never again allowed a colony, trapped on homeworld, forced to do what White wants-

No. She was in a new place now. Things could be different!

But things never work out like she wants.

That thought alone made her just want to tear up the pillow she had curled herself into. She wanted to kick and scream into the void of her too still room and just break things. Instead she amended by one hand clenching into the sheets below her as her hands slowly tore into the fabric. No need to alert one of the other Diamonds of ‘just another tantrum’.

She felt so frustrated with herself. All she could think about was what sort of life she could have lead, and the fact it was so out of reach, made her just want to cry. 

Slowly, her gem glowed, illuminating a smaller figure that blinked in and out of existence and slowly became more pearl shaped until her old pearl shown out in fuzzy, holographic detail.

She had learned that nifty little trick back in her hollow little prison. Back when all she had wanted was to cry and wish she had her gems back. Just to see them one more time. She had remembered how pearls were able to project holograms. She had made a ritual out of it so that she would never forget what they looked like and who they were. Never forget why they no longer existed. 

She looked towards the holographic image of Her Pearl. Her beautiful pearl. Her friend. The only one who had ever treated her as an equal and hadn’t attached to her based on unquestioning obedience. Had been willing to play along to her childish whims. Whims that, if the other Diamonds had found out, would have been reprimanded.

Eventually, of course, they just had to be caught. Blue had left her with just a reprimand about proper behavior. However, as she became more bold with her behavior outside of what a pearl was supposed to be, White Diamond finally caught wind of what was going on.

She still couldn’t forget a single detail of that day. Of being summoned by White. Of White belittling her for even letting a Pearl influence her behavior. That she should know better. That she could be better if she didn’t have a pearl for awhile. Time to recover from Pearls influence.

She had begged and begged even though it didn’t change anything as she was forced to watch as White destroyed everything she had come to love in front of her.

There you are Starlight, now nothing can distract you from being the Diamond you were meant to be.

Words slipped out into a silent mantra. The same words that she couldn’t stop escaping once she had returned to her room in shock. Unable to do anything while her guilt ate at her from the inside out. 

Eventually, others would be added to the long line of mistakes. One that always started with her pearl. Where she apologized for everything. For every little thing she did wrong, as if hoping for her guilt to lessen even a little.

Eventually her guilt had turned into self-hatred. One that reminded her of her mistakes so that she would never do something so selfish again. 

Her hands tensed and trembled as they slowly made their way up to her arms. Trembling with a need to hurt, to harm, and her self-hatred told her exactly where it deserved to be directed.

Placing her nails along her upper arm, she scratched.

It didn’t hurt like it would have for organic beings, but the mark was to be a physical representation of her shame.

Then had come her second pearl. A pearl that had worked so hard to bring her out of the nothing she had existed in for so long after. Had been able to make her care about things again. Had shown her there was something worth living for that she could make her own. Something in her life that she could have control over. That she could make hers. Earth had been such a beautiful moment for both her and her Pearl. Oh, and what a beautiful moment of time it had been. Just her and Pearl taking on the world for a place to themselves. To create a place they could be themselves. Eventually others shared in their dream and Pink remembered thinking nothing could take those wonderful memories away from her.

She should have known that it couldn’t have lasted. White had made it clear what the consequences would be for stepping out of line with her first Pearl.

Scratch.

Then came the fusion. The fusion that gave a true meaning to her rebellion. A reason to fight for something, someone, beyond her own selfish reasons of wanting to finally be free. A validation that being free wasn’t selfish. That others deserved to be free from the tyranny her fellow Diamonds inflicted on their entire race. Life had finally started to gain so many new and exciting shades of wonderful.

But they and the fusion were gone now, and it was all her fault.

Scratch

Then Bismuth and her pals.

Scratch. Scratch. Strach.

One by one all the Crystal Gems that had joined her side in her battle against homeworlds control. Against White Diamond’s control. Physical representations of her regret covering her arms. Until it got to her own line of Rose Quartz’s, for they had all been shattered due to her being stupid enough to use their form for the rebellion.

By the end she could barely hold herself from adding yet another crack to her gem.

Breath pained and labored, she looked out towards the rest of homeworld. She noticed the sun rising in the still multi-colored sky of dawn. She must have been at it for the whole night.

As the sun rose and the colors disappeared from the sky, she could feel the marks of her sin disappearing as her gem worked slowly to fix her form.

That is when she noticed a pearl staring intently at her. However, she disappeared as quickly as Pink had spotted her. 

…

Pink Pearl had been performing her duties as usual to White Diamond, when during one particular day, Yellow Diamond had come bursting through White Diamond’s doors without announcement.

Yellow was never one for spontaneous intrusions.

That had gained White Diamond’s attention immediately.

“Yellow, dear, what brings you here so... spontaneously.”

“White. Today there was a breach in the old tower. I had my Topazes investigate the disturbance and what they found was...particularly fascinating.”

“Go on?” White Diamond had raised an eyebrow.

“They-, it’s Pink, White.” Yellow had said.

White Diamond had stared at her surprised for nary a second before she spoke in obvious disbelief, “Yellow, if you have recently picked up jokes, this isn't a very funny one.”

“It is her, White! Blue Diamond says the letter that accompanied her, without a doubt, confirmed her identity. It claims she came from another dimension. That she-”

However Pearl could tell her Diamond was no longer listening. The look of shock, disbelief, and something hopeful colored her before she spoke again, “Take me to her.”

“We have brought her to her room, White-”

However, White had already surrounded her and Yellow in a transport bubble and had taken off. 

Pearl had resumed her duties as usual.

It had not been very long after when White had returned by herself in a less than pristine state. Her form had taken on a less incandescent shine and she seemed to be deep in thought. However, she sat in her throne and started to work again just as brilliantly as before.

Business had gone per usual until her Diamond had addressed her, “Pearl.”

“How may I assist, my brilliant Diamond.” She saluted.

“I want you to keep tabs on this new Pink Diamond for me. She should be found in her room. I want to know when anything of note happens.”

“Yes, my Diamond. Shall I go at once?”

“Yes.”

Pearl took her leave from the room before making her way towards a place she hadn’t visited in eons:

Pink Diamonds room.

She had taken a look after her Diamond had given her free will back, but only to process what had happened since she was transfered to be White Diamond’s pearl. After she had returned many strange gems had expressed concern for her well-being, but she told them there was nothing to worry about. She was fine. Sure, she missed Pink Diamond dearly but what could she do? She was gone and Pink Pearl was just a Pearl. Now that Pink Diamond was gone, she belonged to whomever was her current master. Despite the relationship she had cultivated with Pink, she had been blessed by their benevolent White empress a second chance after failing her first Diamond. Apparently Pink had been a failure too? But that information was irrelevant to her new position. No matter how much she would protest it if anyone asked for her opinion on the matter.

After the Diamonds had brought back a gem from the failed colony, they had introduced the gem to her. Spinel. She was fun to hang around and Pearl had felt something within her spark whenever she was allowed time with the strange Spinel. Spinel had told her about what Pink Diamond had done to her, but Pearl had initially doubted her story. How could Pink do anything so horrible? She was the most loving and caring gem Pearl had the pleasure of being a Pearl to. While she had her disagreements about Pink with Spinel, it was fun to hang around the gem, so she kept in contact in her free time.

After arriving at Pink Diamond’s old room, she had immediately found a place where she could hide while keeping tabs on what this new Pink Diamond was doing as per her Diamond’s command.

Seeing how much this Pink Diamond looked similar towards her old one was… disturbing to her. It was making all her old feelings rise up and bubble right beneath the surface. No matter how much she had tried to console them, they had never quite disappeared, much to the chagrin of everyone she had come across.

The first interesting thing she noted was that this Pink seemed to have cracks in nearly the same place as her. However, hers still radiated a dull grey energy where the cracks formed. Pearl wondered if this Pink Diamond had received it similarly as she had.

She quickly decided likely not. For White Diamond would have no need to discipline something as perfect as a Diamond. Especially her beloved Pink.

However, as interesting as that thought was, Pearl soon found this Pink Diamond to be dull.

She did nothing but sit and do nothing in the same position for hours on end. The most interesting thing she did was move position at all. It didn’t sit right with something inside her.

Her Pink would have been more active than this one. Seeing this one act still as if all her life had been drained out of her made something inside her very uncomfortable.

It turned an entire day cycle before something more of what White Diamond was looking for happened.

It had started off normally. This Pink sitting in her position before she had suddenly hoisted herself off the bed and onto the floor in a kneeling position. Pearl looked on with curiosity as an almost mirror image of her took holographic form in front of Pink. She felt more confused, and perhaps horrified?, when Pink seemed to bring her hands, nails posed, towards her gem before flinching away from it and bringing them up to her upper arms. 

This Pink Diamond was silent, but Pearl became so hyperfocused on the movements of her mouth she could make out exactly what Pink Diamond was saying.

“Pearl, my beautiful pearl. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. All my fault. I should have stopped White Diamond from having to take you away. I should have been better. I should have tried to be the Diamond White expected so that she didn’t have to take you away to make me better. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so-”

She continued to watch dazed as Pink Diamond continued this for every gem that illuminated the room.

Before Pearl had noticed she found herself on the precipice of Pink Diamonds room. Feet having carried her away from her hiding spot as strange emotion wanted to well up within her.

It took awhile before Pink Diamond noticed her, and awhile for Pearl to realize her position, but when Pink Diamond had noticed her, she ran back to her hiding spot, suddenly filled with apprehension. 

She wondered what she had been thinking, bursting into a Diamond’s personal chamber like that! Even though this was Pink Diamond, she didn’t know whether this Pink was as forgiving as the Pink Diamond before her, or if she would answer to White Diamond for her grievous mistake.

From her hiding spot she observed Pink just recurling where she was as if disappointed she had disappeared.

Pearl knew she should not have any attachments except for her Diamond, but a part of her yearned to be back in that room with Pink Diamond. To have back what had turned into nothing but a distant dream once she learned her Pink was gone.

That part of her wanted her to just go out there. Run and embrace Pink like would of done for her Pink.

After awhile of Pink Diamond doing nothing again, Pearl had gotten to work writing a report for White Diamond. It took her awhile to try to write the events as objectively as possible, despite the fact Pink Diamond’s behavior from last night brought only confusion to what that behavior might mean. For any gem, that behavior would elicit need for reprogramming. For a Diamond, it was downright foreign and extremely strange, and surely must mean something different than anything a lowly gem like her could understand. Pink had always tried her best to explain herself to her, and even though she always played along like she understood, often she struggled to understand half of what came from Pink’s words.

After finishing the report, she wondered if White would perhaps like her to interact with this Pink Diamond. If Pink Diamond was doing nothing, then perhaps enticing a different reaction would help in her duty.

Carefully she stepped out of her hiding place and made it look as if she had just entered. When Pink Diamond noticed her she saluted.

While she had been expecting some sort of reaction to her presence, the flinch and look of horror were a reaction she failed to expect.

“My Diamond are you alright? Should I call another Diamond?” Pearl had dutifully responded in response to the obviously distressed behavior.

“It’s you.” Those two words came out hoarsely, almost choked, as if something was wrong with her voice.

Pearl waited for more words to come out, nothing else came. All Pink Diamond looked was horribly conflicted as two emotions seemed to dance across her face. 

“Shall I call Blue Diamond?” Pearl tried asking another question. Trying to deflect the heavy feeling in the atmosphere.

This time Pink Diamond responded with a shake of her head. Slowly bringing herself out of whatever state she had put herself in before looking at Pearl and biting her lip and averting her eyes.

Slowly an idea seemed to spark on her face before her gem glowed a projection in front of her. It spelled a message. Upon reading it said, “Are you… not White Diamond?”

Slightly confused by what Pink Diamond was referring to, Pearl tried her best to answer. “I have been given autonomy back as per the request of the other Diamonds.”

She seemed to think upon that information, before turning back and looking Pearl right in the eye.

“Do you hate me?”

Pear’s mind froze at those words, her mind going blank, before a wall seemed to break within her and all the feelings she had tried to hold back came gushing forth “I could never hate you!” She blurted out, before quickly covering her mouth with her hands, scared of this Pink Diamonds reaction. 

However, despite Pearls concerns, Pink Diamond then formed a new message, “You don’t? But…” Pink Diamond seemed to get frustrated before forming a different message, “Do you remember anything at all before White Diamond?

Pearl started to feel just as frustrated as this Pink looked, “Yes! I remember! How could I hate you for something you had no control over! It was never your fault for what happened.”

At that Pink only to wilt in place. Her eyes seemed to moisten, but no tears fell.

“But, but if I hadn’t tried to act out of line, you wouldn’t have had to…”

Pearl didn’t quite know how to respond to that. Instead, looked towards the floor unsure of how to respond.

At the silence, Pink’s projection fazed out. However, a message seemed to show for only a moment before turning to static:

Its my fault. 

Pearl didn’t like the bitter taste those words had. A part of her wanted to well up in anger at those words. It was also the part of her that felt indignation everytime Pink had taken the blame for something that seemed so trivial. She tried to repress it, but that only seemed to make the emotion swell within her. 

The emotion reminded her of the times she and Pink had been caught by either Yellow or Blue. How Pink would be reprimanded for acting that way with a Pearl (of all gems). Of the times Pink would just stand there and take the blame, no excuses, so that Pearl wouldn’t get hurt. She shouldn’t have to apologize for just wanting someone to play with. Someone to talk too about what's troubling her. For wanting a friend.

She was so lost in thought, she didn’t notice that she had started to visibly shake in anger. Her fists curled and mouth visibly pointed downward. she was startled by the sudden shake of her shoulder. Her gaze shifted upwards, towards the visage of Pink Diamond kneeling in front of her with her hands on her shoulders. Her worried gaze boring into hers.

“What just-”

Pink didn’t say anything. She just took her hands quickly off and let Pearl process her own conclusions. 

All she concluded was that she believed she knew what she needed, no, wanted to do.

Slowly, she started to walk towards Pink Diamond with a determined look on her face. Pink, on the other hand, looked a little alarmed at the sudden change of demeanor. Pearl didn’t let that stop her, however, and she continued until she stood right in front of Pink. 

She had started to raise her arms, with the intention of putting them right around Pink, when suddenly the light on her communicator seemed to blink with quick, persistent consistency. 

Frozen in place, she had to force her arms to move away from Pink and answer the call from the communicator.

It was her illustrious White Diamond. “Yes, my Diamond?”

“I need you to report back to my side. There is something we would like to discuss about your report.” That was all she said before the transmission cut off.

Pearl slowly looked to where Pink Diamond was, and sadly noticed that Pink had already put distance between her and Pink. While she only wished she could heal the rift that had risen between them, she knew the consequences for not making White Diamond’s request her utmost priority.

Instead, she hoped by the way she phrased her next words that Pink would understand a little her position on the rift, “My Diamond has summoned me, Pink.” 

Pink Diamond looked as if she wanted to say something, but no projection ever appeared. Instead, she nodded and Pearl left.

\------------------------------

When Pink Pearl arrived in her Diamond’s control room, she found Blue and Yellow Diamond in attendance as well. They seemed to be discussing something important.

Waiting patiently to be noticed, she took proper posture.

Finally it was Blue whose gaze wandered around and finally noticed her. “Oh, White, your Pearl is here.”

White Diamond turned around and immediately began prompting her with questions, “Pearl, in your report you stated Pink to have been in a catatonic state. What did you mean?”

Pearl answered dutifully, “She seemed unresponsive to outside stimuli, your radiance.” Pearl answered.

“Explain further.”

“As stated in the report, she was in this state for the length of half a cycle. During the night portion, she made holographic projections of countless gems while mouthing silently towards them. Her eyes looked unfocused as if in thought. This state lasted until the sun started to rise in the sky.” She finished.

“Oh, what do you think this could mean?” Blue worried.

“I couldn’t fathom what this behavior would be trying to accomplish. What are your thoughts White.” Yellow continued.

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t heard of that type of behavior before. Its new and strange to me.” 

“Do you think it would be wise to call Steven. He and our Pink were always more connected to these sorts of things than we ever were.” Blue reasoned.

“That does sound like a plan. Goodness knows we have failed to understand before.” Yellow contemplated.

“That does it, let's call Steven!” White announced before commanding, “Pearl, the communicator please!”

“Yes, my Diamond.” Pink Pearl walked over to the communicator before dialing for Steven’s communicator.

The Diamonds waited with baited breath for Steven to answer the call.

Finally, after a decent wait, his face appeared on the hologram.

“Hey guys, whats up?” 

“Oh Steven, It's wonderful to see you again.” Blue started.

“And usually we wouldn’t call you unexpected like this, but you won’t believe what-” Yellow started.

“Oh, this is taking too long! Steven, we need some advice.” White Diamond finished.

“Advice on what?” Steven replied.

“That's what we’re unsure on.” Blue Started. “But all we understand is that they are not fine and we don’t understand how to help them!” She finished with tears starting to bead in her eyes.

“What Blue means is that they have been exhibiting funny behaviors that we don’t understand and we don’t know how we should respond to them.” Yellow continued.

“Well, what have they doing?” Steven asked.

“Well, according to my Pearl, they have been having the strangest episodes. She’s been sitting around doing nothing for absolute ages. Then just this last cycle, apparently she was lost in her own little world as if transfixed by something. Worst of all, cycles ago when I tried to say hello, it was like she absolutely fell apart. She was crying and shaking as if she was frightened by me.” White spoke with a worried sounding tone.

Steven, instead of answering turned his head to the left after whites words. Confused, the Diamonds looked on while Steven started to talk quietly to whomever was on his left. Finally, he turned his head around and responded “Hold on a moment. Who are we talking about? My friend Connie has an idea, but without context its really hard to pin down.”

“Connie… That’s your… human companion, is it not?” White asked.

“Yes, now answer my question please.” Steven deadpanned.

Yellow was about to answer, but Blue Diamond held up her hand. “I think this will need some verbal tact Yellow. I don’t want you to interrupt either, White!” She said quietly to both Yellow and White Diamond before continuing, “Steven, I know this is going to be hard to believe, but recently we’ve had someone reappear whom we haven’t seen in a very long time.”

“Yes?” Steven responded by insuitating to continue.

“Well, they are extremely different from who we knew, and well, she has a lot of problems that we don’t understand or know how to fix. It hurts us all to see her like this, but we don’t know what to do, and we think we may be part of the problem? But we don’t know what else we can do for her-”

“Just say who it is already! Please stop dodging the answer.” Steven interrupted.

Blue Diamond huffed a little from being interrupted, but quickly calmed herself, forcing the words from her mouth, “Well, Steven, its Pink Diamond.” 

Silence. Steven seemed to freeze at those words. “Would you mind repeating that? I don’t think I heard you correctly-”

White Diamond quickly interrupted Steven, “Oh, Steven, please believe us! We don’t understand much beyond the fact she was sent here from another dimension because it was ‘too unsafe’ for her to remain there any longer! We don’t understand why she is the way she is or why she’s acting so terrified of us all!” 

Steven remained silent, but his face told of his confusion. However, before Steven could get any words in, the communicator camera was moved to his left where ‘Connie’ was sitting beside him.

“I know you all wanted Steven’s input on this, but I don’t think Steven is a good person to ask in this situation.” Connie said.

“Oh, and what could you understand about this situation.” White demeaned.

“My mom has worked with people in the hospital who have come out of accidents or incidents where the experience left them with fear for certain parts of that experience. If it's one thing I’ve learned from my moms stories, typically when they have a fear for something, it has to do with their past experience with it. If she’s responding to you that way, and from what you described, it may be that she’s scared of you.”

“How dare you accuse us of-” Yellow started to yell. However, Blue put her hand on Yellow Diamond’s shoulder.

“I think I understand what she means.” Blue Diamond quietly murmured. “From whatever place she’s from our counterparts didn’t treat her right. That is what you meant, yes?” Blue Diamond stared knowingly.

“Unfortunately.” Connie said.

White Diamond looked down at Pearl and she took that as her signal to end the communication.

Connie quickly disappeared as the communication hologram shrunk back into its projector.

“You may go now Pearl.” With White Diamond’s command, Pink Pearl was free to go.

She left almost immediately, after all, she had a lot she needed to process and she knew exactly who would be a good receptacle for her new, conflicting emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed that, I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again? I'm facing a little writers block about how I'm going to have happen within the next few chapters, but once I get through that I pretty much have the rest of this story planned out. Not written, but that's the easy part. I'll probably be busy these next couple weeks as my finals arrive and I'll get stuck studying for 3 final exams and writing like 4 papers for separate classes. But after that I'll have 3 weeks of absolute free time outside of my job! So stay tuned!


End file.
